Insecurity Complex

Last Friday, I entered McDonald's to have my dinner. It was after our last class and I was hungry.

The guard at the entrace, asked me to have my laptop and tote bags checked. I was more of surprised than being obedient to his request. It was the first time the store asked for that.

The guard's reason, "Ma'am baka kasi may bomba diyan?."

After an explosion rocked Glorietta Mall in Makati City; malls and McDonald's too tightened their security. Went to Shoemart yesterday, it was the same.

*sigh*… The world is becoming so insecure… I hate it. Feel too uncomfortable…

Maja Blanca, Black Forest and Swiss Chocolate

4 slices of different sweets… were all I eat for my dinner last night. That was after thirty minutes of sobbing, brought about by a mess in the office.

The morning after, I had the most beautiful chinky eyes of all…

But the words of advice from a friend, prayers and the Olay Total effects had made all the comfort.

Thanks.

But everytime the painful words cross my mind…

Tissue please…

Hell Week

3 business case analyses. 5 financial accounting cases. Accounting presentation. A synthesis report of our presentation last week.

Oh, mg goodness! I have to go through 2 hell weeks before I'll have the birthday celeb!

But, thanks anyway, it's Eidl' Fitre. And  a holiday in the country.

I was planning to watch European films for free this Friday. Cine Europa will start Thursday.

Yet, I guessed mama terribly missed me since she wanted me to be home.

I'll take the evening trip to Digos tomorrow after office. And will be back to the city Saturday afternoon. Will forego the European flicks this time. Tsk. Tsk.

Our business economics classmates would like to have our last day of class at Kopi Roti. This is interesting.

Love me tender

What do you get when you fall in love?

I like him. Maybe, there's a big maybe, he likes me too. I benefit from his infidelity.

She is loved by a man despite oceans and miles in between, so far far each other's heart and sight. But if a woman longs for this man who can't be with her, is it a sin to fall in love with a guy who's closer?

He belongs to her. She belongs to another. It is complicated as it seems. Is it okay for the two to be together?

He likes him so much.

Can a bestfriend be a lover?

How do you make a man love you in return? Or how about to love you again if he claims his feelings have come to an end?

The Spanish say that to make beautiful out of the terrible is to put the finger into the wound.

Perhaps all love stories are the same.

Excruciatingly beautiful.

Twenty-something

Exactly a year ago, an energetic optimistic young lady arrived at the doorstep of 3-B in a seemingly quite neighborhood. A big fat-bellied man with white thinning hairline and crooked set of teeth greeted her and introduced to the guard as his niece who’s going to stay in a little room upstairs. She was actually with her dad like she is always used to, being accompanied to the airport and this time to a semi-cosmopolitan city which has become her world.

The next day she started working in an institution historically-curved in her dreams. Two weeks and a little stress after, she got her paycheck more than enough to make her smile, a big smile, ‘ngiting aso’ as they phrased it in Filipino.

On December, she trekked Eden with her family. Last summer, she tagged her vacationing cousins to the same city. In some occasions, she sent children’s books to a little south west island.

An HP computer set at home, a Canon camera and Nokia phone – all her earnings may have lost to these things. But who cares, she treats them like investments.

Two or three nights at Oakwood, a couple of weeks at Manila Peninsula, a week at Dusit – sometimes when the universe conspires with her  - she had the chance to sleep at these luxurious places.

Where else she has been to? Traveled to Cebu, Panglao and Pearl Farm! Slept where Isabella shoot their scenes and cruised the Subic Bay in a yacht.

She stacked more books on the shelf. Watched more films – required or not. Partied more often. Went out more with mom, dad and friends. Gulped a glass of Chardonnay. Hit the dance floor at Pier I. While shaking her body, she told herself, “I miss this” as she recalled the happy nights in her undergraduate years. She is introvert, melancholic, mind you. And she was extremely surprised when her personality test results told more of her outgoing self.

Her first semester at the graduate school is almost up. As a matter of fact, it was one great decision and investment she gave to herself. And another surprised came when her peers elected her as their la presidente. It was unbelievable to her but as the Jesuits put it, ‘Leadership springs from within.’

She remains single-minded in this world. But with a man who awakened her gift and another man who brings sunshine in her weekends, mmm… left her a lesson and reminded her of that fine line between a lover and a friend, reality and pretend and maybe even bitterness and acceptance. Thanks to her wonderful friend.

Today is the start of October and few days more of counting, she’ll be turning twenty-four. What’s good about knowing she’ll be a year older this month? That is, she finally decided to set aside achy heartbreaks, stop making deep sighs and be happy with the things she got, forget about the wary moments and times she’s lost. But she can’t promise to erase those sappy feelings, because her mood is as fickle as the city’s weather. At least, she decided to paint the sky with stars and count her blessings instead of sheep.

Honestly, she is still that sweet lady who could appreciate simple things. And hey, she wouldn’t mind unwrapping a birthday present with the guy (she had a huge crush on wearing only his smile) in the inside. Ahehehe! 

Cge na nga, I'll bargain for a pair of Havaianas. Chocolate brown. Slim. Size 36/37. *Wink*