Manila, Manila
Wednesday, September 26, 2007Pollution. Over crowded. Hot. Traffic jam. Typhoons. Floods. Rallies. Petty crimes on the street. And even though I could list all possible reasons why people like me hated living in the nation's capital; honestly, there is still this part of me which says, 'I heart Manila'.
In Manila, I could spend a day alone or blend in the crowd and keep anonymity. Where people do not give you stares if you opt for a table for one. Where a good book could be read cover to cover for free. Where malls could be venues for artistic expressions. Where movies, plays, concerts are in non-stop schedules. Where shopping for pirated DVDs and good imitations is a must. And there's the good chance of bumping into a celebrity in mask.
I could not trade in Davao for Manila. And even if I claim not going to live there again (as for now, that's the case), I maybe still coming back to Manila…
I miss her!
PS. and if by chance, I could visit her again. I'll spend a day at Fully Booked, The Fort.
Surprise!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007Forrest Gump's mom would tell him ,"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get…"
I just opened my box of chocolates. It happened one afternoon when a friend nominated me and with peers who joined hands with placed me to a position I could not fathom.
Well, they just made me their president lang naman… That placed me as the president of the society for those under Masters in Business Adminsitration and Public Administration programs. I could not understand really. I am not charismatic, would participate in the class discussions for the sake of overcoming my shyness, enjoy a close circle of friends but befriend others as well.
But am not popular. Not everybody's type of friends. Very silent to lots of times. My mind was in pandemonium when I learned that I gonna be working on so many things.
You know, for years I have always been a follower. Never a leader in life. As far as I could remember, my only experience of being a leader is to lead small group discussions and another when I led a small group of 10 innocent Girls Scouts marching in the green field. That was it.
For the first time in history, I became a president. And the expectations are rising high. I could foresee the pressures and busyness in the next year…
The Jesuits call this 'magis'. Latin for 'more'. It refers to the philosophy of doing more, for Christ and therefore for others.
I am transformed. grabeh…
Thought for the day:
'Bahalag way kaugmaon basta maugmaan…Unsaon ang kaugmaon ug dili naka maugmaan?? Useless gihapon daba?
Talk at Tatut’s
Saturday, September 15, 2007Neil is definitely leaving for Makati for a reason that he'd like to try what's life like in there. He knew I have lived and worked there before, but he's out for adventure and am not against him. I really wanted to see Neil again to make most of the time before he would leave. This gay cousin of mine is a shock absorber, has been my childhood companion and only this time that I am in Davao we regained the joyous closeness.
We decided to meet again in a cute resto along Duterte street. It was exactly in front of Shakey's where our lil crowd of three had pizza one night.
When I got inside, I was greeted with different novelties on the wall, cross stitch and everything were cute and nice. It was all wood, yellow and green. And the lighting was just right. Not too dim, not too bright. There were only 2 men dining in a natural-finished wooden table in the middle.
Food was served fast. Though it did not taste that good. But what was interesting though was that the spoon and fork were wrapped in a lil brown paper and tied with a simple knot. The placemat is interesting too.
It was the three of us again. There was a burst of laughter when we were gathered. Even the waitress can't help but grinned with us. We were bound for another bubbly conversation. Gay Talk, part 2.
We never really talked so much. Since, we couldn't stop laughing when TJ talked how his Tat
ay wished he would join the military - medical department. TJ is enrolled in BS Nurse program. Poor TJ, he almost fainted when he heard that. His mom on the side…could not hide the smirk on her face that time.
Maybe someday when he has gathered enough strength and guts, he'll definitely confess his real feelings. And I would be there to support him, promise.
Neil on the other hand talked about his family's fate and gossiped about our other cousins. In love, he's been through so much drama, and warned me to be careful, not to over analyze simple gestures of guys who may be keen on me but do not have any intentions other than…building friendships…
Oh, I think I just learned a lot.
Two Hearts
Monday, September 10, 2007It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion. ~ Marlin, Finding Nemo
"Karina," I heard you whisper my name as I stepped out from room 400. And there you were waiting at Bellarmine hall.
Exactly a month ago after an unwelcome oversight in the workplace and a list of visiting missions to handle, I was totally stressed out. I was looking forward seeing mom and dad. It was eve of Mom’s 49th birthday and the dinner was on me. I was in a rush for the party. But you were there…
The sky was in a heavy downpour with cold breeze going in and out of the dusty panes. I noticed noticed you were there in a little corner going to the 5th level. The drizzle may have entered the windows and speckled your face and shirt. And I wondered why you ever called me. And when I returned a fleeting look on you, I saw your face beaming. Damn, you have always deceived me with your smile.
10 seconds of it all. No butterflies fluttering around us. Not even heard of violin sound wafting on the air. I could only stare you with gloomy eyes and a bitter smile. I did not know exactly how you feel but I left, I must go. If and only if you were free, I could have been more daring then welcomed romance. Tsk. Tsk. Nganong puro ra man na class assignments ang gina-ask nimo sa ako uy!
Gay Talk
Friday, September 7, 2007"Heaven, lufa,
infairness,
in, in, infairness
Saksak heartness
Flowing ang dugesh
Chuding, alyvu,
disappear ka na jan!"
~ mga batang bading, naglalaro ng langit at lupa…
I read somewhere that being gay runs in the genes and most likely passed by the mothers'. I am talking about gays because there is a bunch of them in our clan, mom's side, yeah. I don't have much time to Google and research this claim but it hold's true enough in the family.
Let's say I had a gay grandfather who died of tuberculosis decades before the cure was invented. He was well-loved by my maternal grandmother, despite he received beatings from his brothers…just because he was gay… In addition, I have three gay cousins, one of my age, 2 in their college years. And gossips from them say that there's another one who has not come out to the open yet. Plus my own brother they perceive gay. Although, I doubt my lil bro is gay. Maybe, he is just metrosexual. But if that would be true, then there would be 5 gays in our generation.
I wouldn't be surprised if I got married and raised a gay son.
There are certainly NO dull moments with them. One night, I met Neil and TJ at Shakey's over a Grand Slam pizza we were not able to finish. Either we had stomachache because we were too full or too loud with our laughs, it did not matter. It was such a great time with them. I listened over their joys, and struggles and hints of their dreams.
It's a delight to see them grooming themselves and a big surprise witnessing them bloom. Girls transform from naive girls to beautiful ladies by stages deem Oh natural. For them, it would have been harder - learning to trim their brows, wear feminine outfits, walk like the women do - while keeping composure amidst the pressures and society's strange looks. Imagine how they keep up with the varied levels of unacceptance, embarrassment or even angst from their friends and maybe families too.
TJ recalled how his Tatay (father) chest-passed a basketball to him and came rushing to their house front door after he managed to shoot the ball. I could imagine how nervous he was that time.
'How do you change the tone of your voice?' I was curious.
According to him, it's a natural reaction. Man-like when his dad is around. But goes back to his woman-like voice when he's folly or not.
Another chance, his dad inquired him about any close relationships with girls around. The next day he brought a girlfriend and introduced her as his special someone. TJ should have won a Best Actor award, Best Actress rather for his show. Nice acting!
I almost fainted when he told me his gay brother wished to join the MG.
MG? I was clueless.
MG - Miss Gay! I was in a laugh marathon.
Lost my senses when another cousin who joined us admitted he joined before. In a gown and sash, he was waving to the crowd as 'Miss Korea.' Although, he did not grab the crown, he bragged about his 'sense of fulfillment' that reach the heavens above and his 'self-esteem' shoot and reached the moon.
Chox!
